Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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