I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
