I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
