i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
