The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm like, not good at living.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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