I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
