you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
