did you get engaged???
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Welp...herpes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
