Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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