Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
