yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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