She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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