You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
