apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
