Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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