CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
