wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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