Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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