Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
