yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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