dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
