Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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