He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
