I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
