my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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