On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
