i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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