if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
