I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
