Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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