she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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