he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
