can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
