apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
is wine microwaveable?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
