last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
