He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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