so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I want to be your penis for a week.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
