Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
