i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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