So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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