So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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