it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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