she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This is the prime rib incident all over again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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