Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
