There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
