You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
