just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
