whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
