Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
