It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
