Nicole vs. Life
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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