Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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